Says “two hours of meditating every morning should do “just fine.”
In an interview that happened nowhere in reality on this planet last week, President Donald Trump says he feels great after starting a meditation practice shortly after the quarantine began.
Immediately after watching the video, Mr. Trump was inspired to contact Neil by email, firstname.lastname@example.org.
The next day he was eagerly awaiting Neil’s phone call, and received a free coaching session that he says, “changed his life!”
“It was awakening”, said Mr. Trump, who after a week of meditating realized how powerful the human body is and even tried to re-open the U.S. economy by Easter, only to have that idea squashed by a fearful nation.
“It’s probably for the best, to give the deserving American people the time off they need to look inward and be with their families”, said the President.
When asked about his own meditation practice, he said this… “At first it was terrible!”, the president exclaimed. “But after a few days of sitting in my own nonsense and bullshit, I started to realize that meditation is key for the human body to function at its highest level along with proper diet and exercise. It was easier knowing that Neil, a great, great human being, was able to heal his own organs by incorporating meditation into his life. You know, monkey see, monkey do! That’s me.”
So how does the POTUS love his inner child in meditation? “Unconditionally!” He says. “That’s the thing that Mr. Firszt taught me. Love your inner child unconditionally so the fear and feelings of lack and abandonment can melt away, and space can be created for new possibilities. I’m really considering forgiving and being nicer to the Dems. We ARE all one you know. I think Pelosi gets it too.”
Wow! That says a lot and it all comes from my imagination. As you probably knew, none of this story really happened, but it would be amazing if it did.
If you don’t like that I used Trump for this fake story, please insert your favorite politician, sports figure, celebrity, or anyone that makes you feel better. For me, the irony was just too great to pass up, because Trump is the greatest example of pop culture chaos I could think of at the moment. This may have also been the most fun I’ve had writing!
Thank you so much for reading! #BeHigherBeings
For those people that have trouble taking something for free, like a coaching session, you can scan to the right and donate any amount you want! Or the PayPal email is email@example.com